… and here’s what I learnt
I learnt that I like myself, I like my own company, and even though I don’t want to be alone all the time, like how it has been during this time self isolating due to the pandemic , if I happen to find myself in a situation that’s nearly like this without the threat of a virus , I’d be fine.
This discovery has been almost life changing (I say almost because nothing is ever truly that life changing).I have had fears, all be it really minor ones(never gone into a full blown panic attack about it, and I’ve had panic attacks about many things, failure has been number one, but I digress), fears that I thought I’d never publicly admit to that I just might be alone forever, and it’s good to know that even if that’s the case I’d be alright.
The discovery that I don’t have to spend my life seeking someone who would want to be with me forever is liberating, for some reason looking at people do the mad search for a life partner seems completely sad and I never want to be sad like that.
I have to acknowledge that I did not get here alone, my mother, the internet , and virtual friendships have been a source of joy and strength, it will be a lie to say that I got to this point alone. I am grateful for these people and these things.
Now I know if I ever happen to be doing a mad search for anything or anyone it would be for my mother, shelter, food,money and the internet.
Moral: sometimes it takes the world completely going apart to show you the essentials in life, and if you’ve ever been told that you need a significant other to be know that it’s a lie.
WHAT A TIME.