It’s beautiful how the agbada outfit is in vogue these days. Majority of the youths believe that owning the attire made out of many yards of fine material is an automatic draft into the league of the Yoruba demons. Right? WRONG. Lol. After reading this mandate (obviously sent from the Yoruba gods) you will figure out on your own, if you have been chosen by the caucus of Yoruba gods to represent them here on earth.

Having an agbada isn’t THE criteria for being a Yoruba demon but it’s one of those things the gods look at. Not just any agbada by the way. When you start compromising with the size of your agbada to save cost, you might as well help out to serve small chops at the event. If you are going to blame tailors for your agbada made from little material, then they’ve probably done what they were sent to do. You see tailors aren’t just skillful craft men when it comes to fabric, many of them have been sent to the earth to distract you from getting your goal (which is to be a Yoruba demon). That’s basically why many of them tell you that modern-day agbada shouldn’t be full and doesn’t require so many yards of material blah blah blah. If you have fallen for this trickery of theirs, you have fallen by the road side. You might as well be a servant to the real Yoruba demons with your agbada made from insufficient fabric. There’s no difference between your ‘agbada’ and a danshiki.

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Poster boy for Yoruba demons. Thanks to @Lookslikeagoodman on instagram

Respect to the ladies and gentlemen that get their agbadas done with surplus fabric, that have to struggle to pull up their sleeves at events and have to dig into their pockets under all that material. But what do you have in those pockets? Looking sophisticated and expensive, the onilu (Yoruba drummers) at parties would definitely be attracted to you. They will sing and drum praises to your hearing. Of course they wouldn’t do much of that to your friend in the corner wearing minimized agbada, ‘what could he possibly have in his pockets’ the drummers will say to themselves. When they are done praising you, how would you explain yourself to them that with all the elegance you brought to the event, you forgot to bring spraying money. You are not a Yoruba demon without spraying money my friend.

The first two paragraphs are definitely up to you. If you have the undersized agbadas you can easily sew another one. If you do not have spraying money, you can effortlessly change money at owambes and get back on track of being the Yoruba demon you wish to be. But this last point isn’t up to you. After dazzling and catching eyes with your outfit and spraying all that cash, there might still be a slight problem. Jollof rice is ready, small chops have been packed, you are seated and the servers are finally doing rounds. But then, after all that dazzle you brought to the party, you are not catching their eyes. They are ignoring your table. If you have to get up and go hustle for party food in your attire, you know you don’t make the cut (does that even sound like a Yoruba demon move to you?).

It’s up to you to decide. You know the agbada you have in your closet; you know if you have ever sprayed mint cash at parties or if you’ve had to struggle for rice. You know if you were really a Yoruba demon all along.

By Akinro Akinwale.
Messenger of the Yoruba Gods.
Lol… I added that

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