On self love

If you don’t love yourself what gives you the audacity to ask somebody else to, to expect someone else to?.
To put it simply “why should I like you? .. You don’t even like you.”


I was reading a blog post a couple of months ago, that I wish I saved now, unfortunately I didn’t, the lady talked about how she thought she’d love herself more if she was skinny and when she got skinny she still had issues with her body and this was somebody who was obese and had now successfully lost a lot of weight and is wearing like a size 6 or less now so your weight isn’t the problem, if you don’t love yourself at a size12, you are not going to love yourself at size 4.


I’m not saying don’t lose weight , or don’t eat healthy, or  don’t exercise,  all this are things you should actually do, although I don’t think i can preach that seeing as I’m that person who would rather drink fanta instead of water, but when I cut of all those things for a while,  I honestly did feel better and it wasn’t just about  weight loss ,it was just an overall sense of well being.
The thing is, if you don’t love yourself, or your body before you begin to try and improve upon that body, at your goal weight or goal size you’d still find people who will make negative comments about how you look
Oh you looked better when you were
Why do you look sick
Are you going through emotional problems
You look like you’ve been starving
You should see a doctor
You’re not as fine as you used to be… To that i say where were you when I was fatter to constantly remind me of how beautiful I look/ looked.


So you see you’ve got to love yourself because if you don’t nobody else would, nobody else can.
Imagine how much of a burden it would be for someone to tell a person how beautiful they are when they themselves don’t believe it.


I don’t know if this post would help anyone, I don’t know if just typing words on my keyboard can in some way just magically affect the way you think about yourself.. It may not really, but I do hope it changes something or someone even in the tiniest possible way.

I just thought to put it out there and tell you that you need to love yourself and if you already do congratulations you’ve won.


P.s: I wrote this post about 3 weeks ago and then I found this quotes only recently so I thought “oh! Maybe the universe is conspiring to force me into getting this message across” or maybe its not.
Thank you for reading.

I finally found the highly inspiring post I told you I read, see it here

Published by tonyeigbani

21 year old Nigerian. Writing about my personal style, fashion, beauty and life style. Book lover,wine lover,lipstick lover,love lover.

8 thoughts on “On self love

  1. So true Tonye! Self love above all. As someone who recently went from Size 8 to Size 6 and being really sad about it (because I lost all my hips, my b**bs were now shrunk in half and I thought I was no longer sexy), I’d like to say loosing weight is not the answer. Loving yourself regardless of your current size, is.


  2. This post is spot on. Self-love is a lot more important than anything. Seeking validation from other people or the general idea of what is beautiful/sex/whatever just leave you feeling unhappy about everything. Still working on that summer body sha!


  3. This was very profound, I really enjoyed reading it. 🙂

    Indeed, it’s hard to give genuine love to others when one has none for themselves. Self love often starts with self-acceptance and self-validation.

    I am reminded of a quote- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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